Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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