I love black thongs
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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