You made me cry and you don't even care
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
We need to get me chipped asap
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
