FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize