Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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