All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize