I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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