If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
