5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
