He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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