She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize