forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Buhtt sex?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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