Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
