I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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