this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Randomize
