I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
