I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
