So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
