READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
