It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
My balls are so social today.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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