I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
you never un-have a 4some
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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