i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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