I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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