My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
