WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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