She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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