11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
