His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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