I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
