why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
