I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
