There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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