Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
