White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
