Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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