he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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