Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
