wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
