it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I want a musical about memes.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
