Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
