Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
