she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
