Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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