I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize