He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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