you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
The power of my boobs compel you
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
