She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
