my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
