My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
