It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize