Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
