how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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