If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
