Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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