Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
