I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
