I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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