I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Dignity is for republicans.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize