So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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