looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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