Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Randomize