Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
honey bunches of taint.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
