if i died would you start the facebook group?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Randomize
