hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
