I just made out with a guy for $7.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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