i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
im six kinds of drunk right now
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
