I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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