Well apparently he's into motor boating.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
time to smoke my breakfast
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
